Gaining team consensus is a huge win. After all, it means everyone is on the same page, and that you can more easily move forward and begin making progress. What happens, however, when you can't reach consensus? In team settings, it's certainly not abnormal (nor it is it a bad thing) for members to disagree. What can often happen, though, is that some members refuse to … [Read more...]
Turn That Frown Upside Down: Tips for Improving Your Bad Attitude
Do you have a bad attitude? I'm not suggesting always, but sometimes? Most people do. It's hard not to when things are going bad. Besides, you're only human, and you deserve the occasional off day. That said, as a leader, when your attitude stinks, it quickly rubs off on your employees. If everybody's in a funk, productivity is going to sink. So, while you may want to sulk, … [Read more...]
That Escalated Fast! 5 Ways to Turn a Disagreement into a Full-On Fight
Just in case you would like to have some fun with another person during your next disagreement, here are some tips for quickly escalating a minor miscommunication into a full-blown argument. Tell people what they should feel When you want to get a strong emotional response from someone, just tell them how to feel. For example, you could say “Don’t be angry" or "You … [Read more...]
Your Power of Choice in Conflict Resolution
In many cases, the path from conflict to resolution is like traveling down a dirt road in the country. It’s a little rough. Dirt might get in your eyes so that you don’t see clearly what lies ahead. You have to go more slowly than you do in other situations. Once you are on the road, you have to keep going. It is too narrow to turn around and go back the other way. At … [Read more...]
The 5 Ways People Respond to Conflict (and Why You Should Care)
In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of people when it comes to responding to conflict. Admittedly, I did not come up with these categories from a sophisticated and comprehensive statistical analysis. They are, however, built on my observations from working with many people and talking about their approaches to conflict and then observing the … [Read more...]
Manage 3 Major Causes of Workplace Tension
When people are physically uncomfortable, they generally have difficulty focusing on the work at hand, and they tend to become emotionally sensitive and irritable. Both can decrease productivity and increase conflict. Here are three of the most common issues I see as I work with my clients: 1. Space constraints Such constraints can take many forms, but they almost … [Read more...]
The First Thing You Must Do During Emotional Conversations
You likely can relate to this scenario that often comes to my mind when I think about communication ... I was working through an issue with a coworker who was distressed over problems with a process that affected us both. I helped to create the process and had the authority to change it. Plus, I had enough knowledge of the process to troubleshoot and fix a fair number of … [Read more...]
Focus First On Building Conflict Confidence
At one time, I thought I taught conflict resolution. However, over time, I have come to realize that I don’t really teach conflict resolution as much as I teach conflict confidence. To resolve a conflict, you need the other person’s cooperation. Because you cannot demand or force cooperation, you have no control over how the other person will respond to your efforts. As a … [Read more...]
A Healthier View of Conflict
Conflict is a topic that often comes up when I talk with leaders. More and more organizations are making the decision to include conflict management in their training curriculum, and with good reason. Conflict is unavoidable. You will never be able to "put an end" to disagreements, hurt feelings, misunderstandings and bad moods in the office. People are going to disagree, … [Read more...]
FAQ Series: Five Ways to Focus Your Attention for Better Conflict Resolution
Have you ever watched a conflict conversation on a reality TV show? If you have, you might have noticed that they almost always gravitate towards what people said, what people meant, why people did or did not do certain things, etc. These conversations are heavily focused on what has already happened – the past. The arguing participants keep rehashing what has … [Read more...]