When you interact and work with other people, you will eventually disagree with someone. Sometimes, the disagreement will be over minor issues that you can easily ignore. Sometimes, however, you will disagree quite strongly about an issue that is vitally important to both sides. It might be about what course of action to take to turn around the company, which candidate to … [Read more...]
That Escalated Quickly: 3 Words Guaranteed to Increase Conflict
I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that's something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns. While tone and body language can often turn minor disagreements into full-on arguments, it's more often the words people use that cause conflicts to grow. So which words are guaranteed to start or escalate a … [Read more...]
It is Necessary to Like Your Coworkers?
"I have to work with them, but do I have to like them?" That question pops into most people's heads from time to time. After all, you aren't going to like everyone, all the time. Nor do you have to. People don’t have to like each other to work together successfully and productively. While liking is preferable, it shouldn’t be a goal. Rather the goal for both you and your … [Read more...]
The Type of Assumption You Should Make
My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
25 Strategies for Conflict Resolution
This is a guest post by Dan Rockwell, leadership and management expert and author of the popular Leadership Freak blog. Sometimes it is the simplest actions that can help you resolve a conflict quickly, or avoid one all together. When you sense things are heating up, use one or more of these strategies: 1. Don’t focus on winning or losing; focus on achieving … [Read more...]
Don’t Shut Down Emotions During Conflicts—If You Want a Quick Resolution
One challenge I see when people, and especially new leaders, attempt to address a conflict is the desire to ignore or minimize the emotional side of it. They attempt to persuade the other party with logic, data and reason, and take the emotion completely out of it. I have been guilty of this error myself, but a few years ago, I had a moment of enlightenment. My wife and I … [Read more...]
Your Question of the Week: Could It Be Me?
I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them are task oriented. Both of them have a sarcastic approach to … [Read more...]
Politicians Are the Worst Role Models When it Comes to Conflict Resolution
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions … [Read more...]
Avoid Poison Questions That Escalate Conflict
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
5 Steps For Helping Your Team Navigate Rocky Roads
By Barry Kaplan and Jeff Manchester, authors of THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting Inward In our work with hundreds of organizations, it has become clear that in order for teams to unleash their full potential, team members must experience true and authentic connections with one another. Only then will they feel safe to bring their best … [Read more...]