If you choose to look the other way when employees exhibit bad behavior, remember this: Failure to confront a negative behavior is a subtle acceptance of it and an encouragement for it to continue. I absolutely prefer encouraging good behaviors over punishing bad ones. Encouragement is more comfortable to me, and that might be the problem. Behavioral analysts find that … [Read more...]
Learn to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
When you interact and work with other people, you will eventually disagree with someone. Sometimes, the disagreement will be over minor issues that you can easily ignore. Sometimes, however, you will disagree quite strongly about an issue that is vitally important to both sides. It might be about what course of action to take to turn around the company, which candidate to … [Read more...]
That Escalated Quickly: 3 Words Guaranteed to Increase Conflict
I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that's something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns. While tone and body language can often turn minor disagreements into full-on arguments, it's more often the words people use that cause conflicts to grow. So which words are guaranteed to start or escalate a … [Read more...]
When Employees Just Don’t “Get It”
When you have explained something a number of times to the same person or group of people, it is really easy to allow your frustration with the communication process to build. It's a small step from frustration to anger and another small step from anger to an escalating conflict. Other people's failure to understand you generally indicates these possible scenarios: You … [Read more...]
Avoid Unnecessary Conflict With 1 Simple Change
"What religion are you?" The question hung in the air between the two teenagers engaged in a conversation about family rules and expectations. While I do not know this to be true, it appeared to me that they come from families with different expectations and limits. To me, the religion question was asked out of genuine curiosity. I thought that it was just a question … [Read more...]
It is Necessary to Like Your Coworkers?
"I have to work with them, but do I have to like them?" That question pops into most people's heads from time to time. After all, you aren't going to like everyone, all the time. Nor do you have to. People don’t have to like each other to work together successfully and productively. While liking is preferable, it shouldn’t be a goal. Rather the goal for both you and your … [Read more...]
The Type of Assumption You Should Make
My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
25 Strategies for Conflict Resolution
This is a guest post by Dan Rockwell, leadership and management expert and author of the popular Leadership Freak blog. Sometimes it is the simplest actions that can help you resolve a conflict quickly, or avoid one all together. When you sense things are heating up, use one or more of these strategies: 1. Don’t focus on winning or losing; focus on achieving … [Read more...]
Don’t Shut Down Emotions During Conflicts—If You Want a Quick Resolution
One challenge I see when people, and especially new leaders, attempt to address a conflict is the desire to ignore or minimize the emotional side of it. They attempt to persuade the other party with logic, data and reason, and take the emotion completely out of it. I have been guilty of this error myself, but a few years ago, I had a moment of enlightenment. My wife and I … [Read more...]
Politicians Are the Worst Role Models When it Comes to Conflict Resolution
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions … [Read more...]