In many cases, the path from conflict to resolution is like traveling down a dirt road in the country. It’s a little rough. Dirt might get in your eyes so that you don’t see clearly what lies ahead. You have to go more slowly than you do in other situations. Once you are on the road, you have to keep going. It is too narrow to turn around and go back the other way. At … [Read more...]
The 5 Ways People Respond to Conflict (and Why You Should Care)
In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of people when it comes to responding to conflict. Admittedly, I did not come up with these categories from a sophisticated and comprehensive statistical analysis. They are, however, built on my observations from working with many people and talking about their approaches to conflict and then observing the … [Read more...]
Manage 3 Major Causes of Workplace Tension
When people are physically uncomfortable, they generally have difficulty focusing on the work at hand, and they tend to become emotionally sensitive and irritable. Both can decrease productivity and increase conflict. Here are three of the most common issues I see as I work with my clients: 1. Space constraints Such constraints can take many forms, but they almost … [Read more...]
Trust Takes 2 Forms—Here’s How to Foster Both in the Workplace
By Guy Harris The word "trust" has many layers of meaning. While most of us have similar general perspectives about what it means to trust another person, there are some subtle differences in how we view this simple word. The words I often use to describe the two sides of trust are transactional trust and relational trust: Transactional trust refers to the trust we … [Read more...]
A Smart Approach to Reduce Change Resistance and Gain Buy-In
If you lead others, you're in the change business, and that means you will face your fair share of resistance. People will reject your ideas, fight the direction you want to go, disregard your expectations for new behaviors and more. Dealing with resistance is a normal part of leadership. When you initiate change that involves other people, they will inevitably ask: “What’s … [Read more...]
The First Thing You Must Do During Emotional Conversations
You likely can relate to this scenario that often comes to my mind when I think about communication ... I was working through an issue with a coworker who was distressed over problems with a process that affected us both. I helped to create the process and had the authority to change it. Plus, I had enough knowledge of the process to troubleshoot and fix a fair number of … [Read more...]
How to Offer Feedback without Creating Resistance
Feedback can be both hard to give and hard to receive. While it’s easy to say that feedback is necessary for us to get better, most people – including me – don’t like to hear what they did that could have been done better. And since most leaders know that people might not want to hear feedback, many leaders are hesitant to offer it. When the time comes to offer feedback, … [Read more...]
Two Word Phrases for Handling Miscommunications and Conflicts
In your role as a leader, you will eventually find yourself in the middle of a conflict caused by a miscommunication of one kind or another. Maybe you have already had this experience. If you haven’t, hold on, it’s coming. In these situations, it’s incredibly tempting to get lost in the process of figuring out how the miscommunication happened, where it started, how it could … [Read more...]
What You Can Do to Motivate Unmotivated People
One of the most common questions I get in workshops and coaching conversations is this... “How do you motivate an unmotivated person?” This question has two basic problems. There are no unmotivated people, and You can’t motivate anyone other than you. Let’s quickly deal with these two issues. There are no unmotivated people. Consider this… A person who … [Read more...]
It’s Not Always WHAT You Ask—It’s HOW You Ask It
Recently, I was speaking with participants in a training class about communication strategies to resolve conflicts. I shared with them that a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution, and that a sense of curiosity is often revealed when we ask the other person questions. As we discussed the value of possessing a … [Read more...]